suicide sept goals: awareness and prevention
- theantidoterecover
- Sep 2, 2024
- 2 min read
i have ptsd and suicide for life. i didn't choose either.
for suicide september, i'll share some of my experience.
warning: this is about suicide.
[please give consent or stop reading]
goals for suicide sept: suicide awareness and prevention
realistic ideal: awareness and prevention start at onset of suicidal ideation
how? make it safe to talk about suicide at the first feeling of suicide
i couldn’t heal what i was hiding.
reasons i tried to hide suicide:
-my kids mental health
-custody
(end of list)
-safety
-maintaining relationships (practitioners, family, friends, community, etc)
-work
-shame
i haven't found anyone who's experience of suicide is the same as mine. i have a feeling it's like a fingerprint; each unique.
my facts about suicide:
-the less i talk about suicide, the less manageable it gets
-the more i talk about suicide, the more manageable it gets
-talking about suicide resulted in admission to a level 1 facility and an involuntary psychiatric hold
-being in a locked level 1 facility didn’t provide the opportunity to learn suicide management
-my time in a level 1 facility did change my level of suicidality
suicide is raw. if you talk about it, you get sent away. if you're around w it, people leave. i learned the right dance of words to maintain freedom/safety/choice/comfort/less with the fires of suicide raging around me.
SUICIDAL IDEATION FIRST STEPS:
do you have a plan? i entered treatment the first time when i decided on a location. had i talked about suicide other than whether i had a plan, my plan might not have evolved from an unrealistic, peaceful paddleboard experience to instinctively having a plan within moments of entering any room. walls and/or a floor are sufficient means.
suicide prevention is recovery. it's a practice and requires talking, listening, processing, healing.
to listen, stop talking.
every time i’ve talked about suicide openly, healing happened, not suicide.
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